The individual interviewed for this illness narrative has given express permission for this narrative to be published on our course website publicly, with their name (and any other identifying details) replaced. This individual interviewed for this illness narrative will be referred to as “John Doe.”
Born in up-state New York and raised just outside of Fort Bragg, North Carolina, John Doe grew up with a Catholic mother and a military father. Despite this strict influence on his childhood and his involvement in Army ROTC, John is always the “life of the party.” When he is not either studying or participating in ROTC activities, John is out partying, writing his own music, or belting out whatever song is stuck in his head at every chance he gets. In addition, John is extremely witty, always saying what is on his mind (regardless of the consequences). All of the previously mentioned traits are what make John extraordinary, and are also characteristic of his Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
When John mentioned he had ADHD, I wondered, despite his disorder, how does John seem to have his life together? This caused me to ponder “How is the typical day in the life of an individual with ADHD different than that of a neurotypical individual?” On the surface the assumption that John has his life together may seem true but, after discussing his struggle, I learned that his internalization of challenges leaves him “more of a mess than he outwardly expresses” (Doe). Just a few weeks ago, I knew nothing about John’s struggle and I now understand the many issues that he faces as an individual with ADHD. John’s perspective, as an individual with ADHD, affirms that individual challenges often lie below the surface, going widely undetected.
Walking into my interview with John, I thought I had some idea of what to expect from the cursory research I had done on ADHD but did not know what to expect. I sit down in a chair in his room, read aloud the disclaimer, and look up to notice his eyes quickly dart around the room to just about everything, from the LED lights to his band posters, to his computers. The preliminary research I had done caused me to instantly label this behavior as ADHD, since those with ADHD tend to have shorter attention spans and supplement their low tolerance for boredom by constantly observing their surroundings (Adler 3). Knowing the subject of the interview is ADHD, John is eager to describe his life as an individual with ADHD, jumping straight into his experience.
John claims that he “couldn’t remember a time” without his symptoms. His “inability to concentrate” and seemingly “endless energy” was just a part of his personality, so did not care to hear that he had ADHD (Doe). John looks at his ADHD as “just another negative label” used to categorize his personality. John recalls that, as a young child, he was rambunctious but never “too far out of line,” so, despite having ADHD, neither he nor his parents ever thought there was much “wrong” with him. He, however, mentions his past challenge with completing menial chores assigned by his mother. For instance, when asked to clean his room, John would procrastinate it and claims he “wouldn’t purposely put it off” but “just forget” because it was low on his list of priorities. Instead of completing his chores, he was always occupied with “something or another,” so his chores were always secondary to whatever “lazy excuse” his mother believed he was giving to push off his duties (Doe). This tendency to procrastinate is likely a result of the inability to resist pleasure and action based on impulse. Further, this pleasure reward system causes individuals with ADHD to prioritize pleasurable activities at the expense of other, more important activities such as filing taxes, or in John’s case, completing his chores (Rabinovici 648).
John first noticed that his behaviors were “different” from his peers after entering high school. Unlike his classmates, John found difficulty in paying attention to courses like math, where the material was “too repetitive” and had “no practical use” in his life. Because of his inability to derive motivation and study, John had more trouble achieving his desired test scores, often falling behind his neurotypical peers. This upset John quite a bit, since he knew he was able to complete the work needed to succeed, but could not seem to find the motivation to pay attention. However, John had an aptitude for biology and history, claiming that it was easier for him to “focus on the many connections between each concept” and how he never failed to keep his ever-busy mind engaged. These difficulties in school, not caused by an intellectual disability, are common in individuals with ADHD (Walg 1186). Though John felt confident in his ability to learn math, his lack of interest led to a profound lack of motivation.
Aside from academics, John was a very well-rounded high school student, always keeping his mind occupied with various activities, whether it be the school musical, chorus, or the lacrosse team. This need to explore new and different ground is common for individuals with ADHD, since discovery is highly arousing (Adler 5). Because he was involved in so many activities, John struggled to fit in with just one group, claiming that he “struggled with the social structure of cliques” that his friends formed. Further, John struggled with making and keeping friends, as he often offended others with his sense of humor (Doe). John being perceived as abrasive and offensive by his peers is likely a result of his poor impulse control due to ADHD. Those with ADHD experience heightened emotional arousal in response to creating a joke, which causes them to “speak before thinking” (Adler 5).
With all of the freedom he has in college to “do things his own way,” John has discovered new challenges, particularly in staying organized. According to John, while there is no “typical day,” that describes his routine, he tries his best to adhere to a schedule. John decides to outline a day of ROTC physical training (PT). John’s challenge begins with getting out of bed, as he sometimes has to wake up at “oh-two-hundred hours” for a PT activity at four-thirty. Taken aback, I thought “It takes him nearly two-and-a-half hours to get ready?” He explains that he must “make up for the significant amount of time blankly staring” at his phone after he wakes up. He claimed that being able to “just zone out like this” relaxed his brain. He likely feels relaxed when his brain does this, since it is seldom at rest, whether from the many quick distractions to the intrusive thoughts he experiences throughout the day (Rabinovici 649).
John then goes off on a tangent after describing how this same phenomenon of blankly staring off into space occurs in class when he becomes bored with the lecture topic. He laughs and recounts a time when, though he attended the whole lecture, he “missed all of the content” of that day’s policy course because he was simply “staring at the light fixtures in the lecture hall” and “forgot to focus.” Because this is a common occurrence for him, he claims that the “most effective method of learning,” is when his mind is preoccupied with some other menial task, such as “completing homework for another class” or “doodling” in his notebook. Doodling is an effort for John to satisfy his brain’s pleasure system, thereby allowing him to participate in more menial tasks at the same time while satisfying his brain’s pleasure system (Rabinovici 656). John also has a tendency to fidget. He “always fidgets with his fingers, taps his leg, and plays with his bracelet” to keep his mind busy. John mentions that when he’s “anxious and tired,” he is more inclined to fidget, which is common on days when he has PT or when he is stressed about an upcoming exam (Doe). This physical response in John is a physical response to his heightened anxiety and is a sign that he is less in control of his emotions and his body is reacting physically as a result (Adler 5).
John then revisits his schedule and expresses his difficulty remembering meals as a result of his lack of organization. Though he “tries to eat three times a day,” he “cannot guarantee” that it will happen because he “just forgets,” just as he forgot his chores as a child. Though he forgets meals, john asserted that he is “not that forgetful” though, in reference to remembering small the location of small objects, such as his wallet and keys. This is rather hard to believe since John often complains about misplacing his planner. To John’s avail, he is aware of his forgetfulness in conversation, wherein he will either forget what others say after listening or not pay attention, causing his issue retaining information such as birthdays and anniversaries (Doe). John’s inability to pay attention causes him to focus less on basic information about others such as important dates from his memory, making it much more difficult for him to remember facts about others such as their birthday (Adler 6). Further, his forgetfulness is largely due to his brain’s problem with “Executive Functioning,” which is the inability to properly prioritize events and plan ahead (Rabinovici 659). This also impacts John’s academics in college. John considers himself to be a major procrastinator, often playing video games and tending to “other things” such as playing basketball, composing music, or just “wandering around” as opposed to completing his homework.
John then explains the importance of staying active and claims that though he is “forced to be physically active” because of ROTC, he has a desire to appear “hot” (physically attractive) to the opposite sex, using this as motivation for regularly attending the gym. Further, he attributes some motivation to the fear of “feeling crummy” on days when he is not physically active. This feeling of lacking fulfillment on uneventful days motivates him to either go to the gym or play basketball. This lack of satisfaction from not being able to participate is due to John’s need to constantly stay occupied. Without some activity, such as exercise, John would succumb to boredom and likely forfeit control of his anxiety because his brain has nothing to focus on except his thoughts (Adler 3).
Due to his desire for new and interesting perspectives, John highlights that he “doesn’t like boring people” and would prefer to “leave a conversation with a boring person” rather than carry on talking with them. John describes his disdain for his friend’s ex-boyfriend, who he claims “moved and spoke too slowly” for him to remain interested and noted that on multiple occasions John “got up and left mid-conversation” because John became frustrated with him. John also mentions his tendency to interrupt others during conversation. Ironically, as John pointed out, even when asked the question of if he interrupts, he interrupted, blurting out “yes!” before I was able to finish my question. He elaborates on how his impulse to “complete others’ sentences” often leaves others annoyed and uninterested in holding conversations with him. In regards to his interruptive tendencies during our discussion, John exhibits frequent interruptions as a result of his impulsivity and heightened emotional arousal (Minde 638). Further, he believes this is a primary reason why his roommate avoids him. He mentions that he has the initiative to apologize when he interrupts but admitted that he “still has trouble catching” these tendencies.
Overall, though John mentions that he does not adhere to a schedule to allow him to call a day “typical,” his description of going through his schedule was surprisingly similar to that of a neurotypical individual. Yes, his ADHD symptoms persist in ways that neurotypical individuals do not experience, such as his easily distractible tendencies, fidgeting to an abnormal degree, and excessive procrastination. However, the negative labels that others in John’s life place on John as a result of his ADHD are detrimental and exclusionary. In sum, understanding the ways that others’ brains function is important in empathizing and understanding the troubles of another individual.
Works Cited
Adler, Lenard. “Clinical Presentations of Adult Patients with ADHD a Hood in about 60% of Individuals with Childhood Onset.” Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, vol. 65, no. 3, 2004, pp. 3-11 www.psychiatrist.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/11730_clinical-presentations-adult-patients-adhd.pdf.
Doe, John [pseudonym]. Interview. Conducted by Haiden Berton, 10 Apr. 2022.
Minde, Klaus, et al. “The Psychosocial Functioning of Children and Spouses of Adults with ADHD.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, vol. 44, no. 4, 28 Mar. 2003, pp. 637–646, PubMed. acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/1469-7610.00150, 10.1111/1469-7610.00150. Accessed 5 Apr. 2022.
Rabinovici, Gil D., et al. “Executive Dysfunction.” CONTINUUM: Lifelong Learning in Neurology, vol. 21, June 2015, pp. 646–659, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4455841/, 10.1212/01.con.0000466658.05156.54. Accessed 5 Apr. 2022.
Walg, Marco, et al. “The Faster Internal Clock in ADHD Is Related to Lower Processing Speed: WISC-IV Profile Analyses and Time Estimation Tasks Facilitate the Distinction between Real ADHD and Pseudo-ADHD.” European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, vol. 26, no. 10, 10 Mar. 2017, pp. 1177–1186, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5610226/#:~:text=Subjects%20with%20ADHD%20had%20lower,perceptual%20reasoning%20or%20working%20memory., 10.1007/s00787-017-0971-5. Accessed 5 Apr. 2022.
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DBT Center of Marin. “DBT for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder .” DBT Center of Marin, 2014, dbtmarin.com/dbt-for-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder. Accessed 27 Apr. 2022.