My Monday morning started as any would. I woke up, ate and then I headed to the library to get some work done before I went to class. What I didn’t know was that I would be in that library for over three hours.
I got to the library at about 12. I was sitting at a desk, with my headphones on working on some homework for my PR writing class, when all of a sudden, I looked up to see everyone talking to each other, no one focused on the tasks they had been doing. I took my headphones off to ask what was going on when I saw big letters on one of the computers saying we were in lockdown. I then looked on my phone to get an alert Carolina, telling me that there was an active shooter and that we had to stay put. I can’t explain the feelings that went through my head at that moment. I know the first was “No way, this isn’t happening, it would never happen here.” But it was happening and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing but pray. The next hour consisted of me texting all my friends on campus asking if they were safe, but also friends and family from home texting me and asking if I was okay. My answer was the same for all of them, “I’m safe inside a building.” And as far as I knew at that point, that was as safe as I was going to be. None of us knew what was going on. At one point they had the shooter and the next it was the wrong guy. Rumors and theories were spreading like wildfires along with videos and pictures of the building that the shot was taken in, only making us inside more anxious as the hours went by. I never thought I’d have to hear 18 through 20-something-year-olds explain to parents that they were safe, but I bet almost everyone in that room got a call from a concerned parent at some point. A little over three hours later they finally caught the guy and deemed it safe for us to leave. I’m not going to lie, I was afraid. I was afraid to walk outside. I had met a girl and had another friend in the building, so we all decided to walk out together. I was heading to meet some friends who lived in my dorm, so as I walked there I took it all in. There were so many people, all hurrying to make it home, to make it somewhere they felt safe. I saw friends uniting, friends crying as they hugged each other. My friends and I even got emotional as we met up, thankful to just see each other and be able to talk to each other. This experience scared me. It made me look at this campus in a way I never thought I would. The things I love about this campus now scare me. I used to love how open it was, but now I’m afraid it’s too open. I used to love the big classes and all of the people, but now I’m afraid one person could do something awful again. I’m also afraid that I won’t be able to have another normal day, or that something is going to happen as I step out of the door for class for the first time again. But as a Christian, I also know I don’t need to be afraid, that “This too shall pass.” So, as scary as this day is, how traumatic and how devastating it is. I know the one who holds the day. And I know that God will help me get through this, I mean he kept me and the people I love safe during this. I know it will take a while for my campus to heal and I know it will never be the same. But I also know that God will be there every step of the way and for these things, I can praise him. But I ask you to do one thing, I ask you to pray. Pray for the victims’ family, pray for the students, pray for our campus, and just pray for our country as a whole. It’s a scary day we live in, but I know with God, he can make it a little less scary.