2: Building Confidence and Connection

Day 1: Directed by the Director (06/17/2024)

Racing down the highway, heart pounding, I couldn’t believe I was late for my first day working directly with Carlos Tristain, the head of the NIH Stem Cell Lab. The morning sun was unforgiving as I dashed to my cubicle, dropping my bag before heading to the lab. Carlos, the man, myth, and legend, was performing the differentiation protocol for Vukasin’s project. It was my first time seeing him outside his office, and I felt a mixture of awe and intimidation.

As we walked to Building C for E8 media, I treated Carlos’s presence like a Q&A session, bombarding him with questions about optimizing my time, reading scientific literature, and understanding the lab’s work. He responded with concise answers, offering little room for further discussion. His irritation showed when he reminded me of my earlier mistake during a project update. However, when I confessed my struggles and feelings of being behind, Carlos’s empathy shone through: “Yeah, just don’t compare yourself to others. I mean, it’s worked for me, and even still, I feel that… I’ll feel that way my whole life so yeah it’s understandable.”

His words resonated deeply. Despite his stern demeanor, Carlos understood the pressure of feeling behind. This brief connection bolstered my confidence. Following his guidance, I navigated the lab protocols with growing assurance. By the end of the day, I managed to perform media changes and coat plates with PLO and Laminin almost independently, a significant milestone.

Day 2: Lab Confidence in Progress (06/18/2024)

The hunger gnawed at my stomach as I faced another long day in the lab. My schedule was relentless, with little time to eat or rest. Today, however, I was determined to prove myself. My tasks were mostly independent, save for the Day 1 protocol for the two ND wells I plated yesterday.

The real test began when I retrieved twelve vials of cells from the cold room. My hands, freezing from handling dry ice, moved with increasing confidence. Despite a setback when David pointed out that I could have mixed the vials in one 50 mL container, I recognized the value of the practice I gained. My cell viability scores were the highest they’d been, and my apprehension about working at the lab bench had all but dissipated.

I resolved to prepare better, streamline my processes, and connect more deeply with my work and colleagues. Each day was an opportunity to improve and learn, and I embraced it with growing confidence.

Day 3: Juneteenth Fortune (06/19/2024)

Juneteenth brought a late start and initial frustrations, but it quickly turned into a productive day. After battling traffic and technical issues with my fob, I finally made it inside the NIH building. Determined to make up for lost time, I approached my tasks with renewed vigor.

I prepared the media and calculated the necessary amounts with precision. Within two hours, I completed my tasks, a significant improvement from my earlier pace. Despite minor mishaps with contaminated pipette tips, I moved through the protocols with grace and care, developing a sense for the cells I was nurturing.

My connection to the lab and my role in it deepened. I was no longer a hesitant intern but an integral part of the team. My investment in the success of my experiments grew, and I began to take my responsibilities more seriously, while recogniziing that my time at the lab is not just about scientific discovery but also personal growth and the pursuit of excellence in everything I do.

Day 4: Kindred Conviction (06/21/2024)

The week bookended with Carlos’s story – one of resilience and determination. Growing up in Crenshaw and Compton next to the head of the cartel, he overcame significant obstacles to become the director of the NIH’s premier stem cell laboratory. His journey of struggling for a sense of belonging in settings where others had more/better instruction resonated with me deeply. His drive to push himself, staying in the lab 12 hours a day, helped me to realize that I had been given a remarkable opportunity, one I could not afford to waste.

My commute was a grueling five-hour round trip, but it no longer felt like suffering; instead, it became a testament to my dedication. I started waking up early to read scientific papers and develop comprehensive literature reviews. This commitment mirrored the determination that had propelled Carlos from washing plates in a lab at Fresno State to leading groundbreaking research. Today’s tasks were mainly media changes, which I performed with increasing efficiency. During this, Carlos joined me briefly, helping to correct me in passaging the iPSCs I cultured with him on Monday and he showed me his ’66 Mustang, a reminder of the rewards that come with perseverance. A call with Dr. Jeglinski, my recommender for this (and many other) internship, provided further encouragement and insight.

Each day in the lab brought new challenges and opportunities for growth. With Carlos as a mentor and role model, I felt my confidence and understanding of the work deepen. I was no longer the uncertain intern of my first days but a capable and committed member of the team.

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